INSIDE KINKY FRIEDMAN’S CAMPAIGN FOR GOVERNOR
BY D.J. WALETZKY
ILLUSTRATION BY JEREMY TRAUM
This excerpt was originally published in HEEB #10, Summer 2006
Is this a national movement you’re starting?
[I’m] a rebel with a cause, and the cause is to get rid of politics as usual. So at this point, I’m not running with any party, it’s just kind of a common sense thing. I want to clean out the political stables. I don’t want to have any political alignments where I’ve got to appoint a guy for something. That’s what’s ruined education in Texas, made us 50th in high school kids getting into college. That is why we’re in a race for the bottom with Mississippi in funding public schools… and we’re winning. And we’re number one in executions, you know… As Dr. Phil says, ‘How’s that workin’ for ya?’
You have [Dean] Barkley [formerly Montana wrestler-cum-Governor Jesse Ventura’s campaign manager]…
We’ve got Barkley and we’ve got Bill Hillsman, who’s the guy who crafted the ad campaign for Jesse [Ventura], and for Paul Wellstone. And for Ralph Nader 2000. Between Bill Hillsman and Dean Barkley, we’ve got people who’ve been there and done that. Texas is a real seminal state. If an independent can win in Texas, bluebonnets will spring up all over America. It will have a real, real effect on the country.
You also have a Palestinian campaign chairman.
Yeah, Farouk Shami. Farouk and I are going to the Middle East together, and it will be, what I call ‘spiritual uplifting.’ We’ve got a product named Farouk and Friedman’s Olive Oil which is sold in Whole Foods all around the country. It’s olive oil from Farouk’s family’s groves south of Jerusalem that have been there since the time of Jesus. And Farouk and I don’t agree on everything; he is a Palestinian, and I’m pretty much a Zionist. We agree on peace and olive oil. But we’re going to do this together, and we’re giving the profits, of course, to Palestinian and Israeli children affected by the conflict. Farouk will be my ambassador to Israel and Palestine from Texas. He already knows all the little mayors, little towns on the West Bank, in Gaza. When Arafat was around, there was a number on Farouk’s back, he could have very easily been called a collaborator, in fact was. So Farouk’s a brave guy. And this is the first time in Texas you’ll see all the Arab-Americans here and the Jews voting on the same side.
There seems to be a cultural meaning to your campaign.
I’d say it’s a kind of twisted Camelot. It’s a spiritual campaign, that’s what people are beginning to pick up on in Texas. It’s not a political campaign. I use Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King and Gandhi as three people who have helped to give us our values. And of course, I’m a Judeo-Christian, Moses and Jesus are in my heart, and both of them were independents. And these people all died broke, by the way. They didn’t have a hundred million dollars to put into the last gubernatorial race. And the cycle here is that they spend more money each race and fewer people vote each time.
Who do you think are your natural constituency in Texas?
I think most people in Texas are independent. The Alamo is the cradle of Texas independence, and this is the Lone Star State, after all, and it’s a perfect place for this to happen. I mean, it’s just the place that loves a maverick. So I think we have a real shot at it. I think people are also real tired of empty suits and empty dresses.
Is there anything that isn’t captured in your platform that you’d want to say?
Is biodiesel on there? Biodiesel is what Willie Nelson is promoting. It fuels his tour bus; it’s biodegradable fuel, renewable fuel, grown from vegetables and soybeans and stuff, and it’s 80 cents cheaper per gallon on the average and gives the farmers work, and it would make us...well, Saudi Arabia would not be able to play the jukebox and watch us dance to the tune anymore.
Is running as an Independent an uphill battle?
I think it’s a classic battle between money and ideas, and no doubt there may be more than a hundred million dollars against us. I don’t know what we’ll have, we’ll need four or five million, which sounds like a lot, but compared to that it’s not. I think it’s going to be a triumph of the people, over politics as usual. It’d be real good. It would bring back the image of the cowboy, too. The children of the world love the cowboy and always have. And they look to Texas. I’ve traveled to places as far-flung as Iran, South Africa and Vietnam, in which the favorite part of America, of course, is the cowboy. And I don’t like the term ‘cowboy’ being used to mean ‘bully.’ It never has been. The cowboy always stands up for the little people.
To read the entire article, buy HEEB #10: THE MONEY ISSUE!
